Age is Just a. . . What?

The winner of last week's contest, the $10 iTunes gift card, is Melissa! Send me an e-mail to jill(at)jilliancantor.com with your address and I'll get it right out to you. The contest for this week and next week are listed on the right sidebar>>> Just send me an e-mail or leave a comment here if you want to enter.

I hope you all had a nice long weekend. I did! Something happened to me on Saturday that has been happening to me quite frequently lately. First, I finally finished this massive revision I've been working on for a while, so Saturday night I went off to the grocery store to pick up some celebratory wine and crab legs for me and my husband. (Remember, my new positive mantra is to celebrate even the little things!). Anyway, while I was paying, I got carded buying the bottle of wine. Even though I'm in my early thirties, this still happens to me a lot, especially if I'm shopping alone without the kids. Usually, it's not a big deal -- I laugh and hand over my ID, and maybe the cashier will say something about how they card until age 30 and I looked under 30 and I'll say thank you. And that's that.

But. On Saturday, this cashier asked me to see my ID. I handed it to her, and she literally gasped. "No!" She exclaimed. "This can't be right." She turned it over, held it up next to the light, squinted. "You can't possibly be this OLD."

I felt a little uncomfortable standing there as the guy behind me started sizing me up, perhaps wondering how old I really was or what the hold-up with the line was. I'm not sure. I just nodded politely and told her that yes, I am this old.

"No!" she exclaimed again. "You are way too normal looking and cute to be *this* old."

"Is that a compliment?" I asked.

"Totally," she said. "That's totally a compliment."

So, I did the only think I could think to do, I thanked her, wrangled back my ID and paid.

But as I drove home, I wondered was it really compliment? Wasn't what she was really saying was that she expected people "my age" to look weird, abnormal, or not cute, that somehow despite my "advanced age," I'd been able to avoid these things? Phew! And then I decided that I really didn't care. I like my age. I'd actually much rather be in my thirties than be a teenager when life still felt so uncertain and messy.

How do you feel about your age? Do people mistake you for either older or younger than you are? And am I the only one in my thirties who still gets carded???

A Break!

It's Friday!! And I rarely need a reminder to be positive on this day of the week. This week, especially so, because next week oldest child has off school and my husband has off work. Nothing screams positivity to me like a break (and a sorely needed one in my household, as we're all still recovering from that massive cold I mentioned earlier in the week.)

But, here's something even more exciting to me. Usually when my husband has a break from work, this is my time to write while he watches the kids. I love writing, and that my husband has a job with good hours and vacations, and so I'm not complaining about that. But sometimes when I'm up in my office all alone on a Saturday morning, or most of the week between Christmas and New Year's I think about what it would be like to be able to take a break at the same time as the rest of my family.

Next week I've decided to do just that. I've given myself a self-imposed deadline to finish up my revision this weekend and spend seven wonderful days next week spending time with my family. And that thought today makes me feel positively giddy!

Do you have a break for the holiday weekend this weekend? I hope so! What's your favorite thing to do when you're on a break?

What this is really about. . .

Since this blog and my upcoming book have the same name, people have been asking me lately what the book is about and if it relates to this blog. The truth is, not really. Sure my main character Jen has some hard things happen to her and could definitely use a little positivity in her life, but beyond that, my journey and her journey are totally separate. What we do have in common -- this blog and my book -- is that I thought it would be good for me to focus a little positive energy into the universe pre book launch rather than stressing/worrying/fixating on every single little launch detail and dwelling on all the things that could possibly go wrong. Has it worked? So far, yes (but check back in with me a month from now when the book is actually out!). When my last book came out, last February, my husband jokingly referred to me as "launchzilla" (and that was probably being kind on his part). I'm feeling way happier, more relaxed, and positive this time around -- thanks, in large part, to this blog.

But anyway, for those of you who've been asking, I thought I'd share a little about about the book today. Here's what's on the back cover:

What if the reality you thought you knew was nothing but a fantasy?

Jennifer Levenworth has a great, big, pounding headache. It could be because her husband, a judge, is indicted on bribery charges, leaving her unsure about everything in her marriage. Or it could be caused by the media, who are relentlessly covering the story. Or because the friends Jennifer thought she knew and trusted have turned their backs on her in her greatest hour of need.

And then the dreams begin…

And while Jennifer sleeps, she swears she can see—and hear -- her friends' and family’s most private moments. Soon Jennifer realizes she is actually learning the truth about their lives, leading her to also question everything she thought she knew about herself. But when the dreams start to reveal a startling reality, can Jennifer find the strength to ultimately transform her life?

It's a book about understanding what we have, who we are, and who our true friends are, about how we can transform ourself, others, and our relationships. And that is why I thought it seemed only fair that in leading up to its release, I should try, in some way to transform myself.

If you were to transform one thing in/about your life, what would it be? And how would you go about it?

To-Do Lists

I'm a chronic list maker. This doesn't necessarily make me organized, because often my lists end up on scraps of paper or old receipts from my purse. Often I make a list and then forget it or can't find it. But one thing that makes me feel particularly positive is a to-do list, and not the kind of official to-do list that I usually put into the calendar program on my computer, but the kind that is hastily scribbled on a post-it on my counter each morning over coffee.

The things is, whether I make this list or not, I will honestly get the same things done. Only, when I make the to-do-list, I get to physically take a pen at the end of the day and cross off the things I've already done. This makes me feel accomplished, and thus positive about my day. If I can see, with my very own eyes, that I've completed a task(s) that I set out to, then that makes it a good day.

I do this for writing, as well as my day-to-day life -- often with one list per day scribbled on post it on my kitchen counter and one scribbled on my desk. (That's two lists that I'm allowed to cross things off of at at the end of the day!)

Do you make to-do lists? Do they make you feel positive or negative about your day?

Signs & Superstitions

I'll admit, I'm a little superstitious. Okay, maybe a lot superstitious. I'm a frequent knocker on wood and a believer in old wives' tales. I look for signs thrown out to me by the universe. Literal signs. The day I found out I was pregnant with youngest child, I nearly tripped over a dead baby rabbit on the sidewalk right in front of my house. Will you think I'm insane if I tell you that I knew, as soon as I saw that rabbit there, that I was pregnant, that that was the reason I went out and bought a pregnancy test? Go ahead, you're allowed. Writing it down, I do see it's a little crazy myself.

But the reason I bring this up is this. I started this blog to make myself be and feel more positive. And I think I've pretty much achieved that goal for myself. I'm not necessarily transforming from a pessimist to an optimist anymore at this point, but now I pretty much feel like an optimist blogging about positive things.

But also, in the beginning of this journey I believe I wrote that maybe if I put some good karma out into the universe good things would happen to me in return. And you know what -- lately good things have been happening to me. Are they related to all my positive blogging karma? Logic tells me probably not, but that that little (loud) superstitious voice inside my head is screaming YES!

So here's what I was thinking, I was only planning on keeping this blog for a few more weeks until THE TRANSFORMATION OF THINGS comes out (which, by the way, is 4 WEEKS FROM TODAY!!!), but today I wondered, what if. . .? What if I stop blogging, stop putting positive karma into the universe? Have I just created a new superstition? Do I need to blog to keep those positive vibes going? Am I crazy to think I might?

Do you believe in signs or superstitions? What are they?

Cold Remedies?

The winner of last week's contest (chosen with the help of random.org) is Liz Fenton. Liz send me an e-mail to jill(at)jilliancantor.com and let me know your address and how you'd like the book signed and I'll drop it in the mail for you. This week, I'm giving away another iTunes giftcard. All you have to do is leave a comment any day this week to enter!

Today I have a horrible head cold, so I'm going to share two things that I'm thankful for right now: green tea and Breath Right Nose Strips. Cold medicine tends to make me jumpy, so I always try to go for non-medicinal remedies when I have a cold. Seriously, whomever invented those nose strips must've been some kind of genius, as I'm not sure how I would've slept last night without it.

What makes you feel better when you have a cold? Please share anything that might make me feel better today :-) (And since I'm thinking positively -- I promise I'll be feeling better tomorrow and back with a longer post!)

Are Neatness and Happiness Related?

So today I have another question for you guys. I guess actually this should start with a confession. My house is generally pretty messy. I used to have a fairly clean house, before I had kids. And these days I guess I have somewhat of a good excuse -- at least for all the toys around the house. But, admittedly, it's not just the toys that make my house a mess. I barely ever have time to mop the floors, and papers tend to pile up on kitchen countertops and end tables. It is a rare day when I actually make my bed. These things, of course, get done before company comes over or family comes to visit. But I don't schedule cleaning into my daily life. When I get some spare time during the day when youngest child is napping, I always choose to write rather than pull out the mop.

I bring this up because yesterday, I was having a conversation with some of the other moms at oldest child's school. Actually, a bunch of them were talking about their cleaning rituals, and how their floors must be spotless and their sinks must be cleaned, etc., and I was kind of standing around trying not to get sucked into the conversation. Until suddenly they all looked at me. "My house is kind of a mess," I admitted, which resulted in some looks of horror. "I mean, I don't have too much time to clean." I think that was even worse, so I quickly changed the subject.

Then I wondered, was it really such a big deal? I could probably back up here, and say that my mom was always a big proponent of a "lived-in" house rather than a house that looked like it should be a model, so perhaps this idea was ingrained in me from birth. But I suppose that some people think neatness and happiness correlate in some way, and I suspect some of those moms at oldest child's school probably thought I was a bad person/woman/mother for admitting that my house was messy (and for not doing anything about it on a daily basis). Believe me, if one of their kids came over for a play date, I'd clean up beforehand. But I thought about it -- if I worried about cleaning my house rather than working on my writing in my free time, I'd be miserable. My floors might be spotless. But aren't there more important things to worry about? On my quest for positivity, am I allowed to simply embrace my messy house and focus on more important things?

What do you think? How are neatness and happiness related? Are they? Do you have a neat house or a messy house?